good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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