My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
