I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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