5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
