I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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