This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
