Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
