You work out of a Hotel?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
