I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
