Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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