Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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