i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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