He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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