Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
