Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
