I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
