Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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