this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize