So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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