drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
