Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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