Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just googled if crying burns calories
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize