How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
