why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize