Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
