both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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