It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
