we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
