Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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