It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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