Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
