I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
