porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
