I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize