Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize