Please, let me fuck your mom
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
