You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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