Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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