I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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