I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
