Why does Corona taste like a burp?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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