Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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