I'm jealous of your bromance
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
this hospital has no fireball
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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