I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
