I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
