I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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