is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
