Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
