First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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