btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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