don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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