im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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