Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
