Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
