Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
