I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
