hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
