Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize