i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
