You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
