when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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