I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
