My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
