you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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