You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
